3 Reasons Why Setting Healthy Boundaries Is Essential
(Affirmation: I Set Healthy Boundaries For The Benefit of Those Who Matter Most to Me)
Take a moment to think about your views of boundaries. What comes up for you? What thoughts are you having? What do you envision when thinking about boundaries? How does it feel when you come across a boundary in your life? Whether a physical boundary or a mental boundary?
Sometimes there are great reasons for pushing past boundaries. Sometimes you need to push past limiting beliefs that hold you back. However, boundaries are also powerful tools for helping you to live a full and connected life. Through setting healthy boundaries, you can have more strength and energy in your life to focus on those that really matter to you.
What do I mean by healthy boundaries?
Healthy boundaries are boundaries that you decide to keep or instill into your life in order to live with more passion, energy, and connection. They are there to help you to thrive. If at any time a boundary is no longer helping you to thrive, then it is time to reassess whether to keep, modify or get rid of that boundary.
The majority of time though, boundaries are there because you need them in order to thrive. Here are the 3 major reasons why setting healthy boundaries is essential:
1. Boundaries Create Balance
In the Christy Wright show podcast, episode called “Is Life Balance Possible?” Christy talks about how balance is not about having a perfect split in every area of your life. There are busy seasons and there are also seasons of rest. Yet, even in those busy seasons, it is important to set healthy boundaries or goals that you stick to in order to take care of yourself.
Right now, I am in a busy season of my life. I am very much focused on helping my kids with school since it is all being done at home due to COVID-19. This means that I am spending less time working on my business and less time on the house. That is okay, what is not okay for me (and here’s my boundary) is that I still need to take time to myself to recharge, to do something for myself so that I don’t become imbalanced and start to lose my temper with my kids when they aren’t listening to me or when they are struggling with a concept that I already understand but that they are still learning. Taking that time to recharge and connect with my sense of self helps me to stay balanced. Also, because so much of my time is telling my kids what they need to be doing, I have also set a boundary to have special one on one time with my kids. This helps us to connect on a deeper level and it is directed by my kids so they have some sense of control over their lives. So, while my house may not be as clean as I would like too, I’ve set my boundaries, my kids’ education, my relationship with my kids and my time to connect with myself, in order to best serve those I love.
In these times where you are so busy, you can start to feel off balance because you are not taking time to stop and consider what really matters to you in your life. You may have become so focused on you to do list, that you’ve failed to focus on your what matters list. You have stopped living within the boundaries that helped you to focus on what matters most to you. Take the time to re-center yourself and focus on the things and people who are most important to you.
2. Boundaries Create Safety Zones in Your Life
Let’s take a moment and think of some boundaries that you have in your life. There are stop signs or other traffic signals that warn you of oncoming traffic/danger. There are fences put up to keep young kids from going swimming before they’ve learned how. There are spiritual dangers and boundaries that are taught within the scriptures. If you were to disregard such boundaries, you could get into a car accident, drown or fall into a spiritual depression.
Sometimes you may view boundaries as restricting, however the opposite is often true. Let’s take addiction for an example. When someone is addicted (to drugs, to alcohol, pornography or even to sugar) what happens is their body becomes dependent on the addictive substance or act, they no longer have as much control, and as a result the freedom to choose is no longer there. Boundaries help you to be able to have more control and freedom in your life.
Now take a moment to think about your life. Are there areas in your life where you feel a warning within? Areas that you know that you need boundaries in because if you don’t set them up, you’ll burn out, become addicted or where those you love might be harmed because you aren’t creating them?
These areas aren’t all physical either. There are psychological safety zones as well. Take a moment to think about some of the things you need in order to feel safe. They could be physical safety or it could have more to do with the ways in which you feel. What contributes to you having that sense of safety? And then come up with a plan to create more safety zones in your life.
3. Boundaries Help You to Have More Energy
We touched a little bit about this under balance, but it is so important so we’re diving a bit deeper into it.
Take a moment to think of a busy time in your life, it could even be right now. What are some of the first things that fall away as you get caught up in all the responsibilities that you have and things that you need to do? Is it eating healthy? Is it making sure you intentionally move your body (ie: exercise)? Or is it your mental health that is suffering because you keep pushing through without taking the time you need to recharge? When you lose sight of these things and stop making them a priority, do you notice a difference in the way you feel, both emotionally and physically? Do you notice how you have less strength and energy? Do you see how it affects those around you?
One thing that I know comes up when you take time for self-care, are feelings of either laziness or guilt. Perhaps it stems from feeling like you should be doing something else, such as being with kids, working on your business or another important task. Or maybe it comes from your concerns about how others might view you if they knew you were taking a break or even your own perception of yourself. It’s important to acknowledge that guilt that you are feeling. Ask it what it is trying to tell you. Then thank it for letting you know. From there tell it that you understand, however, in taking that time to exercise, to unwind, to stop and think about what matters most to you, whatever it is that you are doing to take care of yourself, you are taking that time so that you have the strength and energy for the things that matter most. In other words, you are letting that guilty part of you feel heard, and then reminding that part of you that you can show up more effectively by taking that time to yourself.
Setting boundaries in your life are essential for helping you to have the strength and energy to show up fully for those things and people that matter most to you.
So, take some time today to consider what boundaries you have in place. Think about what changes you need to make to them. What is getting your most time and attention? Where are you needing more boundaries in your life? And remind yourself why these boundaries you are creating are important.
Affirmation Videos
I Set Healthy Boundaries For The Benefit Of Those Who Matter Most To Me
Boundaries can be set in relation to self care and in teaching kids values, as well as both physical and mental safety. Join me this week as we dive into boundaries.
Boundaries Bring Balance
Boundaries are the limits that you set that help you to have more strength and energy for those who matter most.
Boundaries Create Safety Zones In Your Life
Just as a fence is set up around a pool to keep a child safe, the healthy boundaries you set are to keep you and those who matter most to you safe.
Boundaries Help Me To Have More Energy
Affirmation of the week: I Set Healthy Boundaries For The Benefit Of Those Who Matter Most To Me
When setting boundaries in the areas of physical and mental health, you are then able to have more strength and energy.
Also what to do when feelings of laziness or guilt come up.
5 Areas Where Boundaries Are Really Important
5 key area where it is important to set healthy boundaries.
Mention: Outschool class Do This Not That: Strangers And Tricky People
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Or you can view more affirmation videos by going to https://dreaminspirers.com/affirmation-videos/