4 Steps For Staying Focused On Those Who Matter To You
(Affirmation: There Is No Better Use of My Time Than Where I Am in This Moment)
I recently started taking time each day to spend one on one time with my kids. I read about this idea of Mind, Body and Soul Time (MBST) in a book called The Me Me Me Epidemic by Amy McCready. McCready talks about how taking time each day to spend one on one with kids helps to fill their attention buckets. We call it “Special Time” and the kids love having that time with me. We were already taking the time to do Mommy/Child dates, but since reading more about MBST I decided to try to fit it in each day and it has helped my relationship with my kids immensely. It is a time where I am 100% focused on them. They receive undivided attention from me and they get to choose what we do. It is a time where I am 100% present with my kids.
It was hard at first implementing this, sometimes my mind would wander because my 5-year-old wanted to play make believe and that can be boring for me at times. She, however, loves it. Sometimes in these moments my mind wanders to other things that I could be doing, to my endless list of to-do items or working on my business. However, in these moments, I go back to my why behind what I am doing. I remind myself that there is no better use of my time than where I am in this moment because connecting with my kids is one of the most important things in my life and therefore, I bring myself back to the present, and focus on my little girl so that I can be a mom who is focused and connected with her.
So, I want to share with you the process that I go through to be focused on those who really matter to me.
Step 1: Envision
The first step to embracing this affirmation is to envision what life would be like for you when you’ve embraced it. This helps to answer the question of why is this important for you specifically.
So, take some time right now to consider the following questions:
- How would your life change if you were 100% present in each moment? What would that look like for you? Where would your focus be? What would you hope to accomplish from doing so? What is your why behind staying focused on the present moment?
Here are a few more examples of when I use this affirmation:
- When I am reading my scriptures or praying, staying focused on deepening my connection with God.
- The time that I have with my husband to just talk after the kids are in bed.
- Working on my business, writing, or when I am with a client.
Having that focus is so important because it allows me to connect in each relationship (with God, with kids, with my spouse, with clients) on a much deeper level.
Step 2: What Holds You Back?
One of my favorite questions to ask is, “What holds you back?” or you could phrase it this way, “What keeps you from staying 100% present?”
What I love about these questions is that they help you to understand what is keeping you from getting to where you want to be. This is important because if you do not know what’s holding back, it’s going to be really hard to get through those obstacles. So, this step is all about identifying your obstacles that are keeping you from staying present. In doing so, you then have a better idea of how you can move forward towards your goal of staying focused on what matters to you.
I mentioned earlier that one of the things that holds me back from being present with my 5-year-old is that I don’t enjoy the activity that she chose. That is a mindset that I need to work on. This affirmation helps me to do that. Other things that get in my way could be my desire to do something that I’m passionate about, like working on this business and seeking to help others see their worth. Telling myself this affirmation of, “There is no better use of my time than where I am in this moment,” again helps me. It re-centers me and I then focus in on my daughter.
Step 3: Plan and Apply
Now that you know where you want to go and what is keeping you from getting there. It’s time to brainstorm ways that you will work through those obstacles. If you’re blocked because of your way of thinking or you’re struggling to brainstorm than those are great reasons to work with a life coach. Helping you identify and work through those obstacles is what I do.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of taking the time to allow your brain to flow. Once you start coming up with ideas, more may come. Writing down the ways you can work through your obstacle helps open your mind to creativity and ideas too. As you write, don’t hold anything back, even if it sounds impossible. Just let things flow without judgement.
Then apply. Choose something from your brainstorming list that you feel could work. Schedule in when you’ll do it and plan out how. Application is the only way that a change can be made so be intentional about what you do.
For me in the situation with my daughter, I’ve already identified that this affirmation helps me to re-focus on my child. I’ve developed a plan that when I tell myself, “There is no better use of my time than where I am in this moment,” I am going to focus in on the things that I am enjoying about the moment. I look at my daughter and notice how she is lighting up because we are doing what she wants to do. I notice the way she smiles and the fun that she is having, the way that she laughs when I do something funny. I make it a goal to be a little goofier so that I can get her to laugh and smile more.
Her are a few more examples:
One of the other obstacles for me, is that I think about the other things I could be doing, like working on my business. In this case, a plan for me is to, once again remind myself of this affirmation. In this situation this affirmation reminds me, that I am passionate about helping my child feel her worth as well. I want her to know that she is capable of so much and that I believe in her. I then structure the make-believe play around this concept that she is capable and that we can do hard things. This experience then becomes a fun and valuable teaching experience for my daughter.
And one more example of something that holds me back, would be the distractions of the other kids. This is time that I want to have with my daughter one on one, yet I still have 2 other kids around as well. Here’s the thing about obstacles. Sometimes they keep you from even trying because you don’t think it will work. I finally decided I’m going to try to have this one on one time anyway. Yes, sometimes my other kids interrupt, but for the most part now, they understand that they’re going to get that time with me too and they go off and play with each other while they wait. An obstacle that kept me from implementing that one-on-one time ended up not being that big of a deal. This may be the case for you too.
Having these plans has helped me to get to know my daughter better and connect with her in a way that she understands. So, what plans are you going to make to stay focused and present in your life?
Step 4: Repeat
Next, repeat as needed. Going through these steps again will help rekindle your resolve and desire to embrace this affirmation. The process is about training your brain to embrace the present and focus on the things that really matter to you.
You can live a life full of connection and meaning. You can live so that you are focused on the things and people that really matter to you. Doing so will bring a greater sense of joy and fulfillment into your life.
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Or you can view more affirmation videos by going to https://dreaminspirers.com/affirmation-videos/