How to Stand Up for What You Believe
(Affirmation: I will stand up for what I believe with kindness and respect for others)
I felt my heart rate speed up. I had just been asked a question about what I believed that I did not know the answer to. At the time I was on a mission for my church at a place called Temple Square. It was close to the headquarters of the church and a historical site. Many people would come to learn more about the church and its history. There were also people who were antagonistic towards the church who would come to debate or try to convince us that we were wrong about what we believed. Throughout the conversation that I was having with a young man and his friend, I could tell that they were not really interested in what we had to say. Though civil, there was not much sincerity or interest from this young man. I had the feeling that he just wanted to prove my companion and I wrong. In this moment I had a choice, I could be offended by his pursuit to convince me that what I believed was wrong, or I could respond with patience and resolve in what I believed. I took a deep breath, said a silent prayer for guidance and then I felt peace come over me as I spoke, “I do not know all the answers, but I do know that there is one.”
The man smiled and walked off. I imagine he felt that he had won, that he had left me doubting what I believed. His friend looked at me thoughtfully before turning and walking away. In that moment, I did not doubt what I believed nor did I feel any concern that I could not answer the question. Instead I felt empowered. My belief was strong in that moment because I felt the truth of my response. I knew that there was an answer even though I did not yet know it. I had responded to all their questions with patience and kindness. And then I stated firmly my faith in the Lord. As a result, I felt the Lord there with me.
And in case you’re wondering the next day in my personal scripture study, I did receive an answer.
There have been many times in my life where others have challenged me on what I believe. At times I was able to respond patiently and respectfully and at other times, I could have done better. However, because of these experiences that I’ve had I’ve learned that standing up for what you believe can be done respectfully and with kindness towards others. Here are some of the things that I’ve learned about how to stand up for what you believe:
Don’t criticize or make fun of another person’s beliefs
Perhaps it’s because I’ve seen my own religion made fun of or criticized that I feel this point is important to make or maybe it’s because I’ve seen others hurt by others’ lack of respect. In no way do I expect others to believe in the same things, yet I do still hope that we can all seek to lift each other up, no matter what we believe. Instead of seeking to put down another’s beliefs, we should be seeking commonality and also learning from the differences. In these moments where we have the opportunity to learn about another person’s beliefs, let us see the experience as a learning opportunity. Rejoice in the things that are similar, and keep an open mind about the differences, seeking to see something new so you can learn without judgement.
Perhaps the best way to apply this idea of not criticizing is to ask yourself, “Would I feel okay with someone treating what I believe in this way?”
If the answer is no, don’t say it. Don’t make fun of it. It’s the golden rule, yes, but it’s also often overlooked when it comes to the opinions of others. And oftentimes those opinions stem from our beliefs. So, think twice before putting down someone else’s idea, opinions and beliefs. This is not just about religious beliefs, but anything that someone feels deeply and passionate about, including political beliefs.
Show Interest Sincerely
In college I took a World Religions class and I was completely fascinated by it. I loved learning about all the different things that various religions believed. And I still find learning about others and what they believe to be fascinating. When we approach someone, who believes differently than us, rather than be on the defensive, let us lead with interest. This is not about convincing either side that the other is correct in their beliefs. This is about creating a connection with another human being, one that is full of enriching learning opportunities. Embrace the similarities and learn from the differences.
I remember one particularly instance where someone asked me what I believed about grace. I explained to him what I believed, to which he told me, “No that’s not what you believe, this is what you believe,” then he continued explaining to me what he thought that I believed. I was completely dumbfounded that he insisted in telling me what I believed. When I asked him about his own views, he said something very similar to what I had said about what I believed. He was not willing to hear what I had to say nor was he open to learning about what I actually believed.
Will your own beliefs change from learning about the belief of someone else’s? In my own experience with learning about others and their beliefs, I found my beliefs, enriched and deepened. Essentially, I still had the same beliefs, but they were stronger and filled with more insights. I also felt a greater love for and connection with those I spoke with or learned about.
State Simply Yet Firmly What You Believe
When the time feels right and it’s your turn to share what you believe, do so with firm conviction in what you believe. State simply your belief. Keeping things simple at the beginning and then if the person is interested in hearing more, they have the opportunity to ask questions and make a comment or two. As with any foundation, you start with something basic and simple, then you can build on it as they show interest.
If Met With Hostility, Walk Away
In situations where the other person is antagonistic and unwilling to have a civil conversation, simply state your belief and walk away. This was a great lesson that I learned on my mission. I could not convince another person of what I believed, they had to be open to receiving it.
I am reminded of the scripture in Matt 7:6 which states, “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your peals before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.”
This was a hard lesson for me to learn, because when someone put down what I believed, I wanted to defend it. I wanted to fight back. However, when I did, it just made things worse. Anger, resentment, and hurt would follow and neither person was better for it. It was when I spoke softly and with patience that I felt at peace.
If you are sharing your beliefs with someone who is antagonistic, do not continue in the discussion. Continuing will only make both sides angry and bitter towards each other. Simply state what you believe and then kindly, disengage and leave the situation. This may be counterintuitive but fighting anger with anger only fuels the fire and brings about destruction. Kindly, and calmly share what you believe, and then if the other person only wants to argue and destroy, walk away. In this way you can leave at peace, because you shared what you believed and remained calm.
I think it is impossible to go through life and not have their beliefs challenged in some way or another. It is a part of life, learning, growing, and choosing we believe. As we move forward, we can do so, staying true to our hearts, yet being open to learning from others and helping each other rise.
If you are wanting to gain more clarity on what holds you back from connecting with others and/or brainstorming how to break through the obstacles in your way, then I can help. You can work with me via Zoom. Schedule a free consulation today here.
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