Just after giving birth to my 2^nd child I was struggling with postpartum depression. I would holdthis beautiful little baby and see the light coming from her yet it was like there was a filter over my eyes and I could tell that I was not embracing the joy and beauty to the extent that I knew I could. In discussing what I was experiencing with my husband, he suggested that I take some time to myself before he left for work in the morning. So, I started going for a walk while he watched the kids. I found a great podcast, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where my passion for personal development started to reawaken within me. My life began to change as I began to live with more intention, including that self-care of walking and filling my mind with positive thoughts. The filter was lifted off of me and I embraced the light that my daughter radiated.

Since then I have learned more and more about why self-care is so important. Here’s a great analogy that I’ve heard for self-care a few times before. It’s like when you are on a plane and the flight attendant tells you that in the case of an emergency, put the oxygen mask on yourself before putting one on your child. Doing this then helps you to more effectively help your child. The same is true for self-care. When you take care of yourself you are then more effectively able to help your child and others who matter most to you.

Here’s another thing to consider in relation to this: Do you want your kids to take care of themselves as they get older? Or are you okay with them burning out?

Start now to practice self-care and teach your kids both by words and example the importance of taking care of yourself. As your kids see you doing what you need and then coming to them with love, energy and excitement, then they’ll be more likely to follow in your steps.

Do you know what it feels like to burn out? Do you know what it feels like to just barely hold on to your emotions and then explode? Is that how you want to keep living your life?

Take the time that you need to pray, to meditate, to immerse yourself in the scriptures, to connect with your passions and with your strengths, to connect with God. Take a moment right now to think of some ways that recharge you. For some that could be getting a moment to yourself. For others that could be calling up a friend and catching up with them. Most likely it will be a combination of things through out the month, week, and days that help you to stay true to who you are.

Take time today, to make a list of ways that you can recharge, that you can get in touch with yourself. And start to carve out the time to implement those ideas and take care of yourself.

Now here is something that I know is going come up. You are not lazy or selfish by taking care of yourself. And I know that this is going to come up because already in my coaching journey, this is something that has come up several times. I also know that this will come up because I personally have felt this way as well. As women, we are so used to giving of ourselves, to wanting to help others. Many of us would consider ourselves people pleasers. We don’t want to let others down. And there’s a part of us that feels that we are being lazy and/or selfish when we take time to ourselves.

Let’s start with the thought of being lazy. In coaching, women have told me of all their responsibilities and things that they are struggling with and when they talk about doing what it takes to reach their goals, they say they are lazy. I then challenged that thought, pointing out all the responsibilities and struggles that they are facing and then ask them, “Does that sound like someone who is lazy to you?”

Of course not!

The same goes when you have the thought about being selfish. Here you have all these responsibilities and all these ways that you are helping and serving others and yet, when you take time for yourself all you see is lack, that you are selfish, or that you could be doing more to help another. Yet, you’re exhausted. You’re tired. That is not selfishness, that is taking time to recharge. And when you’ve done that, you can then move forward with more strength, more energy, more love and more conviction to helps others.

On the About Progress podcast Episode 253: You Don’t Have to Be the Sacrificial Lamb of Your Family, Dr. Julie Hanks gives some great insight into self-care. Here is what she said, “You can’t be selfless without a self. You won’t be able to truly give of yourself unless you have something to give from.”

If you are depleted of strength, emotional and physical, then how can you keep giving of yourself to those who matter most to you. Taking time to recharge and have the energy that you need helps your family. Self-care is important, so take some time today to check in with yourself and see how you can recharge.